As mediators, we listen to parents discuss their children and encourage them to collaborate as parents. It is easy to wonder what the children are like. What do they hope for? How do they see their future? Do they know how much their parents love them, despite of all that is going on? When parents each argue about who loves the kids more, or who understands them more, its easy to wonder what would the children’s take on this be?
Occasionally we mediators meet the children and it is always a pleasure. Invariably, children ask how their parents are. They want to know that they are all right. Is dad lonely? Is mummy going to be okay? Children may be in the middle of the hurt and anger of the divorce but they still love their parents. They want them both to be alright.
Kids want to get on with their lives. They want to be the subject of their own lives and not the objects of the divorce. They talk about school, their friends and what they like doing. They are funny and sad, busy and lively. All the things kids should be…..yet, their world is changing. Life will never be quite the same. They will be navigating between the two people they love most in the world.
So much of divorce is about the past, the end of the relationship, but when you meet the children you see the future. You see the best reason for finding a way forward.