Divorce and Separation in the USA

A global perspective of the human effects of separation and divorce

Category: Divorce Book America

Was this my Husband’s Child?

I am not sure how it happened but I know exactly how I felt. Numb, sick, my world shattered. How did this face of a little girl on my phone take my breath away? How did it get there? What were these words underneath? I stood in the park, still holding the handle of my buggy but not aware of my own children. Only aware of this face, these words and this new knowledge “Hello, I am Jane. I am your children’s half sister”.

The funny thing is that I believed her. Why did I believe her. This was out the blue. My husband didn’t have time to have another child. I would have known….she only looked 3 years old. We were married for 8 years with two children, 6 and 4. Both older that this one, Jane. That meant the unthinkable. I wasn’t thinking. I couldn’t think. Should I think? What did I do now?

Was this Divorce? My husband had this other child and there was a mother. A woman my husband was in a relationship with. She had my number. This photo was in my phone for a reason. A text sent by a woman I didn’t know who knew me and wanted me to know. Wanted my children not to be the only ones. My husband had three children. Not two. Two families not one.

I turned the buggy towards home. No feeding the ducks today. I had questions to ask and I hoped to god that there were answers other than the ones now swirling around my mind.

Divorce and Separation: A Practical Guide to Making Smart Decisions — BOOK LAUNCH

Michael Lang, Fiona McAuslan and Peter Nicholson have published Divorce and Separation: A Practical Guide to Making Smart Decisions

http://www.divorcebookflorida.com The site includes information about the book and the three authors, and most importantly a continually updated Tool Box—a list of resources, forms and web sites to help couples manage their separation and divorce.

Welcome to Divorce Book America – Why we started this blog

 

We have four simple goals for this blog:

1. Offer information about divorce and separation that can be read separately or along with our book, Divorce and Separation: A Practical Guide for Making Smart Decisions. Available as an ebook on Amazon.com.

2. Continually update references to helpful web sites and other resources we listed in our book.

3. Invite readers to ask questions. We will answer as many as possible.

4. Encourage conversations among those who are in the midst of divorce and separation, or who have completed that process.

Many books have been written about divorce. We think ours are unique. Our books help couples make smart and realistic decisions—about their families and their future. Our books offer practical information, not canned prescriptions or advice.

We want to help you to find workable solutions for your future.

Our books are based on these basic beliefs:
(1) You want information, not programmed solutions. What might work for one couple isn’t necessarily good for your family. You may need a guide to figure out what information you will need and to identify the issues you should consider. We assume you want to be in control of your own decisions.
(2) You don’t want answers that might be OK for other families. You know your family better than any one. You are the best person to decide what’s right.
(3) You are capable of gathering essential information, thinking about your choices, deciding when to seek professional advice, and making smart decisions. In fact, you are entitled to choose how you deal with their divorce.
(4) Decisions made together are better, longer lasting and more effective. Not every couple can cooperate and make decisions together. But, if you can, the results will be better for you and for your family. They will work.

Books are useful; they give information, we can pick them up whenever we have time, but reading them is a private activity. Sometimes we want or need a chance to talk with others about our ideas, frustrations, and concerns. And, it’s never possible to put every bit of information and advice into a single book. This blog is an opportunity for us to expand on ideas from our books, and it’s a chance to have a conversation that includes our readers.

We hope others will participate – both those who wish to share their experiences and lessons they learned, as well as professionals who work with divorcing couples.

The blog also allows us update material in our books, Divorce and Separation: A Practical Guide for Making Smart Decisions (US version) and Living with Separation and Divorce (Irish version).

What we will not do—and have made a point of avoiding in our books – is giving advice, telling people what they should do. Some have asked us, “You’re experts, why don’t you just give people the answers.”

Our response is simple. Every family is unique, every separation or divorce is different. We can and will give information, ask helpful questions, do some reality testing. In the end, you and your spouse created the marriage, and you are the best ones to figure out how to end it.

What this blog will include:
– Posts by Fiona McAuslan or Michael Lang, occasionally co-authored
– Comments from readers—questions, helpful hints, sources for information
– Posts by invited guests—non-professionals as well as divorce professionals
– Special posts from colleagues in countries other than the US and Ireland
– Comments from professionals

We hope you will read this blog, think about these ideas, and join the conversation.

Fiona and Michael

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