When you think about fairness and satisfaction with the outcome of any decision-making, here are some guide posts:
• Are the terms of the settlement comprehensive and inclusive? This means that every detail, no matter how minor or large, was discussed, and then a clear agreement was reached.
• As you think about the next 6 months, or longer, does it seem likely that you can make the terms of the agreement work? Can you live with this?
• Are these plans and arrangements realistic and practical?
• Have you talked about what it will take to make this work? Can you do what’s necessary? Can the other person? Have you considered the trouble spots–the ways things could go wrong?
• Do the arrangements address everyone’s needs— including those who are not directly involved in the discussions such as your children, relatives, friends?
• Does the language make sense to you? Do you understand everything in the proposed agreement? Have all your questions been answered?
• Is the agreement complete and accurate? Are there any unresolved or unaddressed matters?
• Have your needs–and the needs of others involved–been fully addressed?
• When you look at the settlement terms, do they make sense? Can you see how they will work?
• Are your decisions based on complete and accurate information? If didn’t understand something were you able to ask questions and get helpful answers?
• Did you understand the standards or guidelines that were used to make decisions? Were these standards clearly identified and spelled out, did everyone agree to them?
This is the second section of a four-part post. The next section deals with our need for the process to be impartial, balanced—fair.
Photo by fancycrave, www.unspash.com