We have four simple goals for this blog:
1. Offer information about divorce and separation that can be read separately or along with our book, Divorce and Separation: A Practical Guide for Making Smart Decisions. Available as an ebook on Amazon.com.
2. Continually update references to helpful web sites and other resources we listed in our book.
3. Invite readers to ask questions. We will answer as many as possible.
4. Encourage conversations among those who are in the midst of divorce and separation, or who have completed that process.
Many books have been written about divorce. We think ours are unique. Our books help couples make smart and realistic decisions—about their families and their future. Our books offer practical information, not canned prescriptions or advice.
We want to help you to find workable solutions for your future.
Our books are based on these basic beliefs:
(1) You want information, not programmed solutions. What might work for one couple isn’t necessarily good for your family. You may need a guide to figure out what information you will need and to identify the issues you should consider. We assume you want to be in control of your own decisions.
(2) You don’t want answers that might be OK for other families. You know your family better than any one. You are the best person to decide what’s right.
(3) You are capable of gathering essential information, thinking about your choices, deciding when to seek professional advice, and making smart decisions. In fact, you are entitled to choose how you deal with their divorce.
(4) Decisions made together are better, longer lasting and more effective. Not every couple can cooperate and make decisions together. But, if you can, the results will be better for you and for your family. They will work.
Books are useful; they give information, we can pick them up whenever we have time, but reading them is a private activity. Sometimes we want or need a chance to talk with others about our ideas, frustrations, and concerns. And, it’s never possible to put every bit of information and advice into a single book. This blog is an opportunity for us to expand on ideas from our books, and it’s a chance to have a conversation that includes our readers.
We hope others will participate – both those who wish to share their experiences and lessons they learned, as well as professionals who work with divorcing couples.
The blog also allows us update material in our books, Divorce and Separation: A Practical Guide for Making Smart Decisions (US version) and Living with Separation and Divorce (Irish version).
What we will not do—and have made a point of avoiding in our books – is giving advice, telling people what they should do. Some have asked us, “You’re experts, why don’t you just give people the answers.”
Our response is simple. Every family is unique, every separation or divorce is different. We can and will give information, ask helpful questions, do some reality testing. In the end, you and your spouse created the marriage, and you are the best ones to figure out how to end it.
What this blog will include:
– Posts by Fiona McAuslan or Michael Lang, occasionally co-authored
– Comments from readers—questions, helpful hints, sources for information
– Posts by invited guests—non-professionals as well as divorce professionals
– Special posts from colleagues in countries other than the US and Ireland
– Comments from professionals
We hope you will read this blog, think about these ideas, and join the conversation.
Fiona and Michael